Sibling rivalry is one of the most difficult and fearful issues for parents to manage. So what should you do in such cases, how to prevent sibling rivalry? We’ve given you 10 tips on this, so read on!
Why do brothers fight?
Of course, there are many reasons for this situation, let’s briefly touch on the issues that brothers often fight in general.
- Not being able to share the love of parents,
- Putting unnecessary responsibility on the older child,
- Not being able to share things
- There is constant discussion in the house and children imitate it,
- sibling jealousy,
- Don’t be too protective of the little child.
- Siblings violating their own space,
- Big brother not getting ready for younger brother,
- Situations such as irritability of children due to the indifference of parents are among the most common causes of sibling quarrels.
How to avoid sibling rivalry?
If children are constantly in conflict due to the above reasons or different situations, intervention may be required. So how should we treat two children who are fighting, how can these fights be prevented?
Parental love must be shown!
Parents should show all their children’s love equally and as much as it should be. Even if they are siblings, children have different expectations from their parents. Parents should understand these expectations and share their love with their children. You should not show love while the child is in need, for reasons such as someone gets jealous or upset.
The attention should be shown according to the wishes of the child!
When you spend time with your children, you should listen to what they want. For example, if one child wants to go to the park and the other wants to play at home, you need to meet the expectations of both. By dividing the day into two, you can perform the activity that both children want. In this way, both children will have hearts and they will realize that they are both given equal attention.
Sharing must be taught!
The issue of not being able to share toys and belongings is one of the biggest reasons for the quarrel between two siblings. Resolving this issue is very important. That’s why parents need to teach kids to share. It may be helpful to explain to the children that siblings can share everything, that their siblings can use them if they do not need that item at that time, that there is no harm in using items together, and that this information is repeated.
No unnecessary responsibility!
This problem is especially experienced with older children. Making statements to the older child such as “You are a brother/sister, he is small, you are big” may cause the child to be crushed under this responsibility. However, it should not be forgotten that although he is an older brother, he is also a child. Again, directing a discourse to the young child such as “You are small, don’t do it, know your place” also imposes extra responsibility on the child. Remember, they are both children and neither has to be responsible for the other.
Problems between parents should not be mirrored!
There may be problems in every relationship, and sometimes the voices may rise. However, it should not be forgotten that; Parents are role models for children, and having these arguments in front of children sends the message that fighting and bad talk is normal for them. In order for their children to not see fighting as normal, parents should definitely live their problems out of sight.
The concept of private space should be taught!
Everyone, even a child, has a private area and no one should exceed this area. This concept should be taught to children as well. These areas can be rooms if they have separate rooms, or areas such as children’s beds or armchairs where they often sit. If there is an area where the child feels comfortable, it is important not to exceed it.
It should not be taken sides!
Even if one side is right during the fight, sentences such as “You are right, you are wrong” should not be used. The reason for the problem should be explained calmly and sentences such as “He who thinks he is wrong can apologize to his brother” should be directed.
Fights should not be intervened unless the limit is exceeded!
Arguments and fights are a result of humanity. If the argument between the two children does not turn into a physical fight and insults are not made, there is no need to intervene. Intervention may cause the fight to escalate and not be forgotten.
It should be told correctly to the older child that he will be his brother!
It should be explained correctly that the child will have a sibling during pregnancy and as the birth approaches. The child should be told well that the love of his parents will never decrease, but that his brother is in need of care, that the mother can spend a little more time with the baby, but this will not reduce his love, and that he will have a good time with his brother.