Wrong parental attitudes can sometimes lead to maternal dependence (dependent mother syndrome) in children. As this situation makes daily life difficult, it can also cause self-confidence problems in the child when not given the right direction. What causes maternal addiction, how should a child who is overly dependent on the mother be treated? All the details are in our article!
What is maternal addiction?
The situation caused by the mother’s love, which continues to become stronger after birth, in some children, is called “mother addiction” or dependent mother syndrome.
What causes maternal addiction in children?
Until the age of 3, when socialization skills are acquired, children continue to be dependent on their mother while trying to separate from them. Although it is expected that this dependent relationship will decrease and turn from addiction to commitment after the age of 3, this is not the case in our society. Adults who have children may even have problems such as maternal addiction.
When the child is 3-4 years old, problems can occur when he is not allowed to do the things he can still do. At the age of 4, communication errors of parents with their children lie behind situations such as dependence on the mother. There is no difference between a boy’s attachment to his mother and a girl’s. It’s all about attitude. Below we have told you about the factors that lead to maternal addiction.
- The decomposition process does not occur in the expected time,
- Incorrect attitudes of parents (mothers are overprotective, fathers are more distant, or both parents are overprotective),
- Not giving the child the opportunity to do some work on his own,
- Do not instill self-confidence in the child.
- Not supporting the child in the age of 2 years when autonomy is declared. Especially the age of 2 is the most common period of maternal addiction.
What are the characteristics of mother-dependent children?
- lack of self-confidence,
- school adjustment problem,
- school phobia,
- Having trouble making friends
- excessive shyness,
Children who have never been accustomed to being without a mother can have a big adjustment problem, especially when they start school. Children who feel dependent in this way are tried to instill self-confidence, albeit late, by applying addiction treatment to their mother.
How to treat a child who is overly dependent on the mother?
The child’s excessive attachment to the mother can sometimes be daunting. In this difficult transition period, while reassuring your child and making him feel comfortable, you should also be careful not to be overprotective and pressure his development. Of course, your child will not learn to be apart from you overnight, but thanks to your loving encouragement, he will start to walk away from you with confidence. You can take these steps gradually by following the tips below.
1. Make sure you come back
Children at this age may have the misconception that when someone they love goes out of their sight, they are completely lost. You can partially remove this insecurity with games that teach the continuity of objects. “C-ee!” playing games like “Where am I?” you can have a fun time with him by hiding for short periods of time.
You can start this hiding game with a few seconds over a 1-2 week period and then increase the time to half and up to 1 minute. Of course, don’t forget your smiling face. Talk to your child to calm them down while you disappear. Especially in the nursery and kindergarten periods, such games are very effective in preventing the 3-year-old child from being dependent on his mother.
2. Take time to be together
The biggest thing that will overcome the problem of excessive dependence on the mother is attention and love. The more attention you give your child, the less he will want you by his side, she. Spending a lot of time with him by singing, reading books and playing games will increase your sense of confidence and improve your ability to be alone. Be in physical contact all day long, kiss and hug your child a lot.
3. Stay with him for a long time
One of the most effective factors leading to maternal dependency disease is to be with the child all the time. By doing so, you are preventing your child from being independent and learning to play on their own. You should also encourage him to play games alone.
4. Appearing anxious
Some mothers may unwittingly project their worries onto their children. When leaving your child’s side, try to do so with a convincing smile and a light tone of voice.
5. Keep your cool in moments of separation
In mother-dependent children, there is usually an atmosphere of panic when the mother leaves the child’s side. At such times, do not react to your child with anger or sadness. Instead, try not to react at all. “Okay, I’ll be back now.” indifferently. also. Although he may not understand it at first, he will find confidence in his tone.
When he came back, he said, “Here I am, I’m back. Are you bored?” Remind you to come back as promised with phrases like: Mother-dependent babies eventually feel more secure during these commutes.
6. Let him chase you
Dependence on the mother can cause your toddler to follow you around the house all the time. In such situations, do not try to stop him. Even if you don’t reject it, your child is already saying, “Do I want to be dependent or independent?” in contradiction.
7. Let him leave you
When you play together, and the child wants to leave or do something else, let him/her go, provided he/she is safe and in sight. He should know that there is nothing wrong with breaking up with his mother.
8. Make sure your child is not addicted to your addiction
Some mothers may like to be needed, and they may unwittingly encourage their children to do so. And these people can turn into dependent mothers over time. They can feel stuck in the air when they are not sought. Try to be aware of your role and what you really need to do in this cycle of addiction.
9. Be patient
Remember that your child’s fear of being without a mother is part of his development. Dependence on the mother in infants is more tolerable than in childhood. However, the fact that this situation still continues with the transition to childhood is due to the wrong behavior of you and your spouse. No matter what, you should be understanding towards your child, he will overcome this situation with your love and support.
10. Get expert support
If you still cannot solve this problem despite all your efforts, do not hesitate to get expert support for the treatment of addiction to the mother.