Toilet training is the bleeding wound of mothers. Dr. Jane Gilbert brought together the most common problems and questions asked by mothers who embarked on this path in her book “Toilet training”. Come on, it’s time to heal your wounds and find answers to your questions!
1. We have been giving toilet training to our 3-year-old daughter for 6 months. It’s getting worse and worse, why?
There’s nothing wrong with your little girl. He just has some resistance to toilet training, that’s all. Toilet training is a really difficult and stressful process, and she may be feeling pressured to use the potty because she started trying too early.
Sometimes it is good to take a break and use the diaper again for a short time. Talk to him on a day when you’re both calm. So, how should you proceed in this conversation?
- Force. If it hasn’t responded to coercion and pressure so far, it’s time to implement a different strategy. Don’t remind him to go to the bathroom.
- Get him to take responsibility. Tell her you’re a big girl now and tell her that she has to go to the potty herself, even if you talk about helping out whenever she needs it.
- Applaud your success, ignore your accidents. Congratulate her when she goes to the potty and reward her with a nice gift if she manages not to wet herself all day. Don’t punish him for any of his accidents, pretend not to notice. Hug, kiss, compliment.
- Offer options. If she doesn’t want to go to the potty, suggest sitting on another potty or putting the potty in a different place. He likes to be in control.
- Immortalize your achievements. Create a calendar or board that shows how successful you are. Add the moments that please you to this calendar.
- Don’t leave the bottom wet. If you leave your child’s bottom wet, he will get used to it and after a while he will not feel uncomfortable. If he’s under it, change it right away.
- Get help. When you find that nothing works and you feel like a failure, consult experts who can help you.
2. My son refuses to pee on the potty. Why could it be?
This is one of the common problems. Kids see their poop as a part of their body and they never want to be cut off from them. In particular, they refuse to go to the toilet because they think it’s completely alienated from them. And they don’t like big splashes of water, the good part is that kids are well aware of their bladder control.
So what can you do?
- In this case, the Enuresis Research Board recommends that even if the child wants to pee in his diaper, take him to the bathroom and have him pee there.
- Making him pee in the toilet with sweet words is another option.
- Praise even small achievements. It’s good to be a little strict, but you also need to encourage him.
- Do your timing well. For example, after dinner, create a space where you can sit on the potty and chat with your child, read a book, or even play games like spraying bubbles. The goal is to make him feel comfortable. He gains this comfort while having fun moments.
3. My five-year-old daughter has started peeing underneath and refuses to go to the bathroom. What can I do?
Chronic constipation is the most common reason why children pee under it. “My child can pee regularly, how can he be constipated?” don’t think so. He may have wet his bottom because of the poop that dries in the back area and the urine leaking from the urethra.
May hesitate to use the toilet at school. Many psychological conditions such as illness, being scared or having problems at home can cause the child to urinate. When faced with such a problem, it is best to encourage and support him. Let’s see what you can do now.
- Do not disrupt the diet. Meals rich in fruits, vegetables, and fiber can prevent constipation. Children really like interesting fibers such as grapes and boiled peas.
- Talk to him about the subject. Tell him you’re not angry and let him know that you’re thinking about his well-being. Maybe she’s scared of pooping on her own at school.
- Organize it. Encourage your child to go to the toilet every day, even for a short time. At such moments, read to him and chat together. Sitting on the toilet at the same time every day can be effective in improving bowel movements.
4. My son is 3.5 years old and as soon as he takes off his diaper, he puts it right under him. What should we do?
Extremely bright and happy children can take time to start toilet training, you don’t have to worry before they turn 3 years old. Also, boys can be slower than girls, so don’t panic.
But by the time your child is 3.5 years old, have the diaper removed and put him on the potty regularly. If he has not completed toilet training by age 4, then you can take him to a specialist.
5. My 3.5-year-old daughter still uses the potty, while I try to steer her to the toilet. But every time I put him on the toilet, he screams and screams.
Many children find the toilet scary. The toilet can be huge for a small child, and it’s important that you don’t force or rush your little girl through this transition. The following suggestions may be helpful:
- Put the potty right next to the toilet. He will get used to sitting on the potty next to the bathroom, and over time he will warm up to the idea of the toilet.
- Let him watch you sit on the toilet. If he seems happy about it, let him help you flush.
- Put a sturdy step or a safe elevation next to the toilet. This will help him climb to the toilet and provide a secure platform for his feet to stabilize. It’s important to feel safe.
- Get a toilet adapter. Adapter models that are mounted on the adult toilet are less intimidating and friendly to children.
- While your child is sitting on the toilet, be careful not to flush. The noise and the sound of water can be terrifying for him.
- Instruct him in washing his hands. The first time he sits on the toilet, he can contaminate his tiny hands everywhere. Try to keep the toilet as clean as possible.
- Quietly eliminate the potty when you’re comfortable. Make sure he doesn’t even notice.
6. My son gets upset when I clean his poop. What should I do?
Some children see what they do as a part of themselves in a sense. Even if this sounds strange to you, cleaning them can be scary and upsetting at times. There are several ways to solve this problem:
- Try to understand everything that happened. Explain what garbage means and where it goes when you flush it.
- While your child is busy with something, sneak into the bathroom and clean it all up.
- Make room for fun. The last method and the most successful is to turn the whole process into a game! Teach your child to wave goodbye and say goodbye as his poop disappears into the murmuring waters. Well, toilet habits are not easily acquired.
7. My son’s bottom was always dry, but he started to wet the bed again. What should I do?
Children can have accidents for many reasons. Because they are hypersensitive to what is going on around them. Factors such as a new baby entering the family, moving house or vacation can set them back one step.
If you’ve run out of patience, take a break so both of you can breathe. Developmental regression often happens when parents burden their children with more than they can handle.
8. My daughter doesn’t go to pee until she’s ready to pee. What can I do?
Girls are more prone to this condition. Although they are faster at toilet training, they think that once they get used to it, it will always go like that. Constantly forcing kids to go to pee has no effect. Usually, they think that they will miss something if they leave the room even once because they are so concentrated on what they are doing at that moment. What can you do?
- Take it with you when you go to the bathroom. If you go with him, he won’t feel like he’s missing out.
- Create a star calendar. If she hasn’t done it at all, reward her and encourage her to start potty use sooner.
9. My son needs special care. How will I know when is the right time to start toilet training?
The methods and principles related to toilet training are valid for all children. In children who need special care, this process may take a little longer. You need patience and support just like everyone else who has taken this path.
In order to be successful in toilet training, it is not enough for a child to understand that he only needs to go to the toilet. It is important to reach the toilet on time, to unbutton his clothes, to lower his pants, and finally to do the timing well enough to sit on the potty. The caregiver needs to observe each stage and measure whether they can be successful or not.
Keeping records can also work in this sense. For example, recording the time interval between when the child eats and when his/her intestines start working is helpful for toilet monitoring.