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“Mom, I don’t want!”, “No, I won’t eat this!”, “I can do it myself!”, “Listen to me mom!” Do the rebellious phrases like these sound familiar to you? Welcome to the 3 year old syndrome! Since this period is a critical age for your child, these changes in their behavior are very normal.
What is 3-year-old syndrome, what are its symptoms and what should you do to cope? We asked Ceyda Cecan Karakuş, Expert Clinical Psychologist, about everything you wondered about!
What is the 3 year old syndrome?
Three-year-old syndrome, just like the 2-year-old syndrome, is a set of behaviors that the child displays due to his/her developmental characteristics. During this period, does the child want to declare his independence and socialize more? His self-confidence has increased a lot.
3 year old syndrome symptoms
- The child with the 3-year-old syndrome may be quite stubborn in this period. You may find that whatever you say tends to do the opposite. Because he is trying to prove himself to you and his surroundings. For example, in this period, the child prefers to eat only the food he wants and to wear the clothes he wants.
- 3-year-old syndrome is famous for its crying crisis. If the child feels that he is not given importance, is not valued enough, or if his wishes are not met, he may have crying spells.
- 3-year-old syndrome can lead to behaviors such as not eating. At such times, you should not be insistent on your child.
- The child’s 3-year-old syndrome is actually the period of “being me”. All of this stems from the desire to be independent. He is aware of himself and the people around him. He enjoys doing what he can do, accomplishing the tasks you give him. They have their own interests and tastes.
- We said that the child’s desire to be independent is high, but the 3-year-old syndrome can also show signs of attachment to the mother .
- 3-year-old syndrome can cause sleep problems. During this period, the child may insist on not wanting to sleep or may wake up at night.
3 years old syndrome causes
During this period, the child’s effort to prove himself increases. He wants to exist in every environment and event, to feel that he is important. In addition, his relations with his circle of friends begin to expand. If the child feels insecure, does not socialize enough or does not feel loved, he may enter the three-year-old syndrome.
What should you do to cope with the 3-year-old syndrome?

It is possible to overcome the 3-year-old syndrome in children without any problems, with the contribution of you and your spouse, that is, your parents. How to get over the 3-year-old syndrome , here’s what you need to do:
- What your child needs most during this period is attention and love. Show him more love, hugs and tell him you love him often.
- Try sharing small chores with your child, giving him small tasks. For example, let him help you sort the laundry. So he feels more important.
- Family environment is very important for three-year-olds. Have dinner with the family, go for a walk together.
- Let him socialize with his friends and throw his energy away. Go to the park together, go out and stroll. If you want, you can enroll your child in a part-time or full-time kindergarten .
- Speak with eye contact, use simple sentences. When your child understands you and responds to your communication effort, be sure to thank him. This calms him down and makes him feel more valued.
- Appreciate your child’s positive behaviors so they are motivated to repeat them later.
- Children with 3-year-old syndrome sometimes have difficulties in sharing their belongings. If your child has the same condition, don’t force him to share his toys. Because he doesn’t know how to share, he can take toys from other friends’ hands. He wants to do what he wants when he wants. In such a case, you can direct your child and friends to parallel games where several children play with their toys in the same environment .
- Direct your child to creative activities to express his anger and anger. Put a picture book, paint in front of it. Or buy him a musical instrument. Take him to workshops, exhibitions. Playgroups and children’s workshops are also life-saving activities for a 3-year-old child.
- It is inconvenient to set strict rules in this period in terms of child development. If the autonomy period is limited by rules and boundaries, the child may experience a lack of self-confidence in the future .
- The child should make friends with his peers, but it is important that he also has a friendship relationship with you. You should be able to share your child’s thoughts with you without hesitation, and give him the right to speak. He should feel that you care, listen and understand him.
- For the upbringing of a 3-year-old, you must learn to say no to your child. Don’t be afraid to say no in a precise and clear language where necessary. The point you need to pay attention to here is that you and your father give the same answer when you need to say no. Otherwise, if the child feels that he can direct one of the parents, then he tries to get what he wants through that parent.
- Strive to be consistent. Don’t say yes one day and no another day.
- The 3-year-old depression period in children is a process that can be overcome by the calmness of the parents, don’t forget that. Therefore, do not be stubborn with your child, try to divert his attention.
When does the 3 year old syndrome end?
If you’re wondering ” How long does the 3-year-old syndrome last ?”, we can say that there is no clear time for it. Every child experiences this period and gets through it with the support of his family. All you have to do is be patient, understand the psychology of the age of 3 and ensure that your child completes his development in the best way possible. However, if you feel that your child is unable to cope with your behavior or is insufficient to understand him, you can talk to a pedagogue.